ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
