i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
