apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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