Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
