Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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