What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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