I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
someone owes me an orgasm
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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