I am in a vortex of obligation.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
