I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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