fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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