He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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