I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
