Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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