I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
