I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ketchup is God's man juice
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
