I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
