ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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