I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
