So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
