love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
