Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
