Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
