A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
