I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
