so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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