My nipple is on Facebook.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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