There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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