oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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