we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
