Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
