if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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