Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
