ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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