Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
