$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Nicole vs. Life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
