He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
