don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
