Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
