she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
