Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize