That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
