pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
