Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
