It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
