Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
