STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
