Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
