so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
