terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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