glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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