You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
