Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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