i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
