So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
