I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My vagina is very pro this idea
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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