This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
