Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
